loves kicked n kick back - glory days 2006

everything seem so nice n bright
through all the pitchy night
it seems i ain't need a light
which suddenly i discovered
something which i can't imagined might

the sunshine which light my day
just gone on a windy rain
slowly took my day
into an uncertain grey
i can only wait n pray

the sooner the longer the wait
till it become a painful faith
starting to ease me away
from my glorious day
how should I know how long does it takes?
to get back my day
bring me up again
higher than the mountain
and ease away the pain
and how long can i survive?
with this feeling of unsecured
whether glory or sadness
still the uncertain remains..

feeling like to break away
from this un-joyful pain
which struck into my heart
and leave me bled in the mud
but whether i have the might
with this hopeless strength
to switch from dark to bright
I’m just an ordinary creature
that got nothing that so pure
that somehow can cure
a broken heart..

a joyful era had come to an end
which I never knew when its gonna come
back to me
back as it should
the place where its belong

suddenly i realized
what had i done that wasn't wise
to just leave it and become a follower
which had made me lower and lower
as the sweets now had become sour

i shouldn't be wandering around
waiting and doing nothing
at least i should do something
to ease everything
avoiding from loosing
for the only thing..

but now i do realized
that i'm the unwanted civilized
the days goes by.. high and high
glory days glory days
how it passed and be in history
and leave me down here in misery
glory days glory days
how the clouds took you away
without a sound now you've gone
with this hopeless guts

now you leave me alone
…?

i must move on from the present
to shout out my inner from the silence
to face the future which i hope is bright
and stay stronger with His might..
i must start from now before its too late
before i die and put it as fate
…
the past the time my sunshine gone
but now's the time the twist should come..
...?!!?
the twist had twisted
as my hope become wasted
the journey had come to its end
where everything will stop
with no shaking hands
i must accept my defeat
'coz there's no space for me to fit
to step back in a battle that nothing i had achieved
to go back and realized
world is full of truth and lies
it’s like playing with your own life dice
it will take you slice by slice
but what had been taught in the real life??
glory days wasn't meant for unwanted civilized
....?
to hell with the others!
who's damn and so do the fuckers
they shall die with the heat
the flame that burn from their feet
as the same goes to my defeat
as those days had gone by
i'm still gonna live foe a new 'hi'
glory comes glory goes
with now i had nothing to lose
so what's with the past
so so knew that nothing would last
there's no need to be ask
desire with lust
...
the next will be the day i shall wait
the day with new hope
no need of freaking bait
as the light i had seen
shining from distance
gonna lick 'em clean
gonna knock 'em silence..

A Decade of War

First 2 years without a word
Being the clown
To be watched to be heard
With no space to be hurt
Just proud to be in the herd
Away from dirt
The first not the third
…
The last year the time everything started
From zero to hero
There’s something to be expected
Just wondering how it’ll lasted
…
People said expect the unexpected
Without a dialog a story being created
As the glory is going to be tasted
The thought where nothing gonna be wasted
…
They said I wasn’t tall
They thought I was too small
But who’s been picked after all
The boy with his ball (hahaha)
…
Never crossed my empty crazy mind
To feel the love something hard to find
The truth of said how love is blind
Yes it does
Hope it last
Promise to trust
It was a blast
…
As each word said
As promise been made
It was an honor
I’m no more a loner
Guess what I’m gonna
Do as I wanna
…
But as sudden
The war been brought to the southern
Away from the base
Which might not to be traced
As a disconnection is going to be taste
…
The distance that kept
Wasn’t there to help
As I’m being trapped
Help?
…
As the strength become hopeless
I would burst
Rather than thirst
Neither being the last nor the first
…

Separation then made the decision
As no more calculation for a conclusion
Asking to stop before the station
As the thunder had stunned the sensation
…
I am being tamed
For the love of the game
Nothing gonna be the same
Nothing on my hall of fame
There was no name
There was no one to be blame
Stick attached on my wall of shame
…
Not to forfeit
But to accept the defeat
Have to use my own feet
Working on my own feed
No more deed
Will be no more treat
As the cold become heat
No mean for any beat
…
How fast the time passed

As I grew older
The phases I went through
And made me wiser and balder
The life luggage with lots of loads
For the future until the next episode…

The Pursuit of Happiness

Happiness. What is happiness? What is happy? How to be happy? How can you get it? A great length of laugh? I don’t think so. Pronounced as \'ha-pē-nəs \, it may be translated as an obsolete: good fortune: prosperity: a state of well-being and contentment: joy: a pleasurable or satisfying experience. Any one of those crossed or your mind? Or never thought of that? Everybody has their own understanding on what is ‘happiness’ to them. It may be one of the above or may be others. Sadly, you will never realize until you lost them.

So, what’s the great deal with this happiness? Can it be achieved? Can someone get it or can everybody get it?

I have tasted it, once. The feelings which cannot be imagine. It is like you live in the other world, where there’s nothing could ruin or take it from you. There was no problem, difficulties, setbacks or even a scratch throughout my moment of glory. Everything was as a rich taste of chocolates, or running through a garden of flowers with it scents could create a smile on your face. It’s like heaven with full of angels and inevitable hopes had come, on banded knee pleading for your present. To get and to feel “it”, something that you ever imagined you would get; something that you will cherish your entire life, something that would pleasure every single minute that counts in your life. It was incredible! The feeling was phenomenal! It’s was a mind-blowing time for someone who could never ever dream to taste the great feeling of “it”; the time which I wouldn’t ever trade for nothing else in this world. Joy and laughter had filled my empty and thirst of glory life, love and passion had becomes the air that I breed. What a wonderful, great phase of my life!

I have done some thinking of these happy thought, how happy I have been, how happy I want to be, and the most important thing is on how am I going to prolong this feeling; the extension that I would love to be in. For the first time of my life, I had a thought. It does not mean that I had never thought before but this is different. Suddenly I realized that I have been thinking about my future! Something that wasn’t me! (Hehehe) Then, what the heck? Something that certainly would benefit me and it’s good for me, right? The thinking part starts. The future looks brighter than ever with numerous plans which hoped to be achieved. Never cross my mind to ever dream about the future ahead me. Well, what’s going to happen? How it’s going to happen? What should I do? How should I do? These questions start playing in my head. Few strategies planned and just waiting to be execute. And I am glad that it happened.