Strike!! phase one

i'm not satisfied... i'm on picket!!
protesting the unsettled life of mine.. period that much anticipated with less congratulating but full of sorry and sympathy... even empathy is better. i think. maybe.. or not!

and i could only do nothing. nothing to change. if only i have choices, then i'll have the problem to choose but it ain't happening. what should i do to have? what should i have? what should i need? to change? i need a wind maybe? 'wind of change'? oh, Scorpion help me...

at the moment, the most i managed to is just by protest. by leaving my face hair, freely and liberally.. its a rare occasion where i encountered daily on the mirror. sometimes i do feel annoyed by this black free reign grown hair but it just to remind me of my argument. the protest and quarrel of myself to myself. like Tun's said..Melayu mudah lupa.. a gentle reminder to my own self..

reversed Midas's hand

i feel like a superhero. with superhuman ability.

do not fear " Super JackS is here!!" "fighting crime, trying to save the world, we coming just in time, the power....." but not with this song. this is for powerpuff gurls...

i'm sure you have heard of King Midas. with his hand! for whatever he touch will turns into gold. my super ability is sort of like Midas's but on reversed. i've touched everything i could but it wont turns gold but dust.. cis!! (again, its a metaphor..)

for whatever i involved with, will be in mess. today itself, hassle resulted incidents happened. i'd sacrificed my 'till noon' sleeps to settle couples matter i 'touched' before. worst come to worst i had to let go some priorities. which till now i haven't realize whether i'm doing the right thing. damn it! it confusing..things that right to do or things i should do..?

silence is my weeapon today. my best ammo so far. and i'm gonna keep it this way for the moment.. damn you reversed Midas's!

i love me, i love me not

people said, love yourself.
people said, trust yourself.
people said, listen to your heart, listen to yourself.
people said, think of yourself first then the others.

watchu gonna do? with this? all these?
i personally blurred. confused. puzzled. bamboozled.

coz
the more i love myself, the more i hate others..
the more i trust on myself, the more i loose faith in others..
the more i listen to myself, the more i ignore the others..
the more i think of myself, the more i forget the others..

is this good or bad? am i right or am i not?
again, what am i gonna do? which am i gonna choose?

am i gonna go for myself? or should i go for others?
coz the first part is when you listen to "people said"...!!! (still the others)

oohh... crap! u tell me!!

my camel is dead

i used to enjoy my camel ride. up and down the hill. through the nasty forest and bushes. sand storms can be blurry but not my camel. but now my camel is dead. leaving me back. down on the ground. on my knees whining on its dead. he's dead not caused by lack of water but motivation to live..

its just a metaphor dude..

my camel ride is my life. the ride of my life. through ups and downs. my joy and sadness. my pain and gain. i used to enjoying those memories. life (the nasty forest) is like a movie, changing pictures from one scene to another. stored in a film of memoir, rest and remembered. blurry sand storms did leaves me in pain. clear tears did drops. i just couldn't help everyone. i just couldn't help myself. some pain did leaves me with scares. a permanent mark to be remembered till the D day.

i used to enjoy my ride. along with a company of love who always there. through the nastiest forest and bushes of life. who will wipe the clear water out of my face. who will bring me up when i'm losing my faith. who will trust and believe in me, maneuvering my camel of life. who help me to feed my camel. who cares for my camel. the camel i rode, together with the usual suspect. but now the same things happened. the usual suspect is gone. missing. leaving me missing.

now, no one to feed my camel. nobody to help my camel. i can't do this alone. i'm used to the old way. the way which i was together; feeding and pampering my ride. the week it goes, the weak my camel went. seems like the clear water out of eyes had dehydrate my ride. no one to wipe nor filled my ride anymore. as the time passes by, i just realized my camel is dead. caused of wet of waters. caused of lack of motivation. the motive to live..

i'm just gonna sit and whining for the moment. till i got the strength to get up which i donno when. just gonna follow the wind flows up to the north of down to the south.. damn it!!

moment of hoot

ever wonder.. emotionally ill can caused physically ill? or lead to it?

experience may tell. whats JackS thru is sorta kinda similar.. couple plus 1 months had showed its results. n its not pleasing. at all. na-ah! loosing count on weight till yet gonna feel like a bunch of cotton? flew by wind will? certainly its not d best or even gud of JackS at the moment. or being the BIGGEST JackS ever? for the week? year? or century? or forever? cis!! cis kek..!

the bleeds war dat were told on truce yet still doesn't offer JackS peace. statement made by med practitioner seems not convincing. still couldn't bring the joy back yet. hope it just yet. just a matter of time. which definately unclear..leaving in ambiguity JackS is at the moment..

james morisson lattest keep in mind. being the new dat top the head top chart.

bullshit did happened..

what a fucking way to start my day! freakin damned asshole!! come n go.. used n leaved.. WTF!!