Sorry!!

Surely, you heard before the Sir Elton John and British boy band Blue’s “sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Great song, nice melody and good lyrics. What does it mean by sorry seems to be the hardest word? Is it that hard? Saying “sorry”? Saying Schwarzenegger (Arnold) is harder for some of us, right? Even to spell it! But “sorry”? Is it that tough?

“Sorry seems to be the hardest word”. It’s not the word that is hard but to tag along the meaning of the word is hard; for some people for sure. And why is it so damn hard? Is it that difficult to express or say that you’re “sorry”?

Ego is the issue here. Hahaha. The ego has landed! Yes, it’s right that nobody can live without ego. Ego is the one that shaped us, to be who you are. Everybody has his or her own. Maybe they want to stand firm, on their decision or action. Fighting for their own right, staying on their answer. “I’m a man of my words” some would say. But “sorry”? Is it by saying “sorry”, that your ego will fly away? That you are no longer a man? Says who? And some even thought that once you apologize, you are defeated! Again, says who? The same goes to the ladies. This kind of mindset has need to be change my friend. I am not saying that say sorry for whatever happens. What I do mean is once you feel that you’re not on the right side (not saying you’re wrong eh), do feel and say sorry. By saying “sorry” doesn’t always mean that you’re wrong, maybe you’re showing your respect; to the elders for example. People wont call you sissy if you apologize. People who aren’t saying are the one! “Sorry” even could make one’s anger subsided. So, say it, before it’s too late!!

And don’t say it just for the sake of saying it. If you don’t mean it, better not! I remember a dialog from a sitcom I previously watched, saying, “you don’t have to feel sorry to say sorry”. Hahahaha. My personal advice, don’t do that. Unless you have a really good reason for that!

Going to the extent of further front, the situation where saying “sorry” has been the staple from your mouth. Again, not good. So what am I saying here? Some would question me, “What you mean by that? Earlier you urge people say sorry and now, once we have no problem to say it, you say no good?” Is it? Nope? The key point here is ‘say it but not too much’. What would happen if it too easy to say sorry? Whatever happens, sorry. ‘Oh, its my mistakes, sorry’. Even for wrong doings. ‘Why do you beat him? -> It’s my fault, sorry’. Too easy. My point is it’s not a good practice once it became your staple word. Why? Because once it is too easy to say “sorry”, people will have no problem to make mistakes. They tend to repeat them again and again, and why is that happening? Because saying “sorry” isn’t that hard anymore, regardless by their mean or not. I’m so sorry for your “sorry”. Later maybe Sir Elton can remake the song with ‘sorry seems to be the easiest word’.

Hahahaha.

Sorry?

Settle Down

It’s really good to see most of my acquaintances had taken one step further. Merely 80% of them had settled down and live a married life. And the number keep on counting. A companionship life. It would be a dream of all of us to be in that extent which I highly appreciate and truly grateful when my time comes. The only matter is time. Oops! It would be a lie if it just a matter of time. Resource is the other factor.

One step ahead of me. It’s not a jealousy the reason I wrote but envy. Envy of others who gradually managed to do so and yet I’m happy for them too. They are my friends! But why do I feel that I’m not ready? It’s not that I don’t wanna but uncertainty is what clouding my sky. The feeling of whether I am ready or not, could I be able going through this fixed companion life, or even my potential companion is ready or not? I can be sure that I am ready, but in term of what? Age? Check! Willingness? Check! Resources? Uncheck!! I wonder how could I ever surmount the idea of “resourceless” and go forward trailing my buddies whom each day took greater steps and challenges in life. I’ve wasted nearly a half year with nothing, just living with a bad decision which led me to more uncertainties and pointless. And now I should gear up and rev up as well as to get up from my last drop spot.

And resource is not the only matter as time continues, ticking and ticking. Leaving a buzzy sound through my ears. Time won’t come back, and I ain’t getting younger and younger though. What past is past, and future ahead is what to ask. Is it gonna last with a blast? Or just another setback and I bleed again? That’s just a question that I couldn’t answer now. All I want is to focus and giving my best shot! I had been given a target. It’s not really a target but more to warning or reminder (just to make it sound better). 2 years from now is the max. Not because I couldn’t wait for another 2 years but whether I’m ready with everything within 2 years. Mentally for the idea and concept of settling down can be shaped in that time frame but materially? That’s my biggest concern; my greatest fear at the moment. Either I come up with sum of resources or I’ll loose everything; potential companion to share life with and another reason to live.

It sound and look easy. Just plan and execute! But as I’m just gearing up, a later concern of my credibility and qualification on executing my current required tasks came up! Just to realize that there are some more to be done. Some extras to be add. Furthering and learning because later the education of others is what matter. As the “interruption” would somewhat affect my process of resource collection, I wonder whether the time frame is enough or I just gonna wasting my life again then. It’s been a hard time for me. It’s not the matter of choosing between two options but how am I gonna stick attached these two with me and carry them over. Hope for the strength and prayers to the Almighty will help because I don’t want it to be a burden but more to a loads of lifetime challenges which gonna test my courage and determination.

Help, someone?